My 2012 List of Awesomeness

2012 is wrapping up to a close. New years is always a time to reflect on the past years accomplishments, failures, and lessons learned. Trying to be optimistic, I say that we could simply make a list of awesome stuff that has happened... Including failures. Honestly some of my failures this year have been pretty cool. Like the failure to keep all four wheels attached to the tractor at all times... Well I wouldn't necessarily say cool, but it is a fun story now. But here is my list. No I won't divide it into sections of successes and less successful items, I'll let you decided which is which.

• Held a monkey.
• Watched all six seasons of Psych.
• Learned to play the ukelele... Well I'm still working on that one.
• Finished a semester of school (with a much higher GPA than freshman year I might add.)
• Started this blog.
• Met 1039 really cool people 
• Added 316 of them on Facebook.
• Re-learned what the friend zone was. Once... Or twice.

• Kissed three girls.
• Got 400 scars
• Watched all the seasons of The Office.
• Slept 14 hours. Straight.
• Drove 10 hours straight. Except to fill up with gas twice.
• Started rock climbing.
• Left Montana after a fantastic two year mission.
• Taught a Sunday school class of 7 and 8 year-olds for the summer.
• Bought a car.

• Auditioned for America's got Talent.
• Learned to do a backflip.
• Finished reading the Hunger Games series.
• Learned the mature way to pronounce flippase, floppase, and scramblase.
• Made a ginger friend.
• Flew a plane.
• Sprained my ankle.
• Got a TV from a guy in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Oh, and it was free.
• Attended one of the Houston Astros 55 wins this season.
• Did the Dirty Dash.
• Met Thurl Bailey.
• Dressed up as a zombie and scared people. I even made two guys fall down. It was great.
• Watched Gangnam Style... A few times.
• Went to Philmont for the third time.
• Turned 21.
• Legally bought liquor.
• Bought one of those cool horse masks.

Welp, I'm bored and tired of coming up with this stuff. Remember how I said I'd let you decide which ones are successes and failures? Well it's also up to you to decide which ones are true. (Its kinda like that two truths and a lie game... Except here you don't know how many of each there are.) If you really want to know, you could like message me or something. But no promises on the reply. 

Happy New Year kiddos!

Slightly Birdy, with a 13% Chance of Poop

Today my family decided to get out of the house and go on a little trip. 323 miles later I pulled into the driveway. But it was fun even though I ended up driving the entire way. It started out by going to Brazos bend state park aka the "alligator park." They have hundreds of alligators throughout the three or four lakes and ponds and trails you can hike and bike on and such. Sorry, but no gator rastling stories here. I guess it was too cold so the only ones we saw were like six inches in the visitors center. Dang.

But the day was still young, so we decided to head to Galveston. We had an ice chest of Mt. Dew and water and like four bags of dollar store cheese puffs. We were set. About an hour and a few of my dad's "shortcuts" later we made it. Went to the beach but that lasted all of five minutes. Then we went to ride the ferry. After waiting in line for what seemed like forever (it was at least long enough to watch an episode of Psych... Thank you netflix!) we got loaded up. The engine was off. The parking break was set. (It is state law to do such things.) From far off the ferry's between Galveston and the Bolivar Peninsula look like they have a white tail. Said tail is actually hundreds of sea gulls following because some people like to feed them... Hence the cheesy puffs. Those things love the cheesy puffs. (Rumor has it that if you soak cheesy puffs in whiskey the sea gulls like them even more. But don't quote me on it.)

Only problem with feeding sea gulls is that they have something known as leaky bowel syndrome meaning that as you feed them there is a slight chance of you or your clothing acquiring a new color scheme. For some people, that happened. Twice. I won't mention names but the guy is taller than me and married to my sister. Maybe it's the bald head, maybe it's the extra 4 inches he has on me. Some people would say it's just chance. I say that the birds just have really good aim.

I also saw this huge cruise ship going into the port. It made me want to go. If anybody is willing to pay, I'd be more than happy to go with you.

I Guess You're Stuck With Me

Well it looks like I survived armageddon, or the apocalypse, or doomsday, or whatever you want to call it. At least I almost have, by the time this blog is posted I'll be able to know for sure. I'm guessing it was a Canadian  apocalypse, as soon as it saw it was making people upset it decided to go back home and stop being scary. It also said sorry. Or it might have been French. Once it saw that people doubted that it was coming it panicked and surrendered. We'll never know.

As for me and my survival celebration I'm enjoying my nice warm bed with a tasty can of Mt. Dew. And a fun station on Pandora. But I'm keeping the specifics on that one a secret...

But I did play with a monkey today and I also ran across this big pile of cars. You can find all sorts of fun stuff in Houston. So even if the world ended today, I can say I lived a good life. Can you?

Oh hey look at the time, I guess I just won the game.

The REAL Mormon Mafia

Have you ever heard of the Mormon Mafia? Growing up I always did. There would be the "cool" kids at church dances throwing the double M gang signs. Yea, real cool. But little did I know, that in a few years I would find myself a part of this exclusive club. If only I could figure out how to do an FZ gang sign, then I'd really be reppin the true colors of the aforementioned "Mormon Mafia." Oh yea, it has an another name. It's called...

the FRIEND ZONE.

It's an exclusive club that one can rarely get out of. Well maybe exclusive isn't the right word, I have a good number of buddies in the gang.

Ok... and maybe it really isn't really the so-called Mormon Mafia, it really isn't even a mafia at all, but there are some similarities:

Once you're in, you are in for good. Well for the most part. Tyler and Brady are currently a part of the friend zone hall of champions, it's an elite group, kinda like the elite four in Pokemon. Everybody hopes they can get there some day, but most people just give up and wait til the next version (girl) comes along... (Did I just compare girls to a Pokemon game? That might be a problem...)

At first you might think it's cool to be there. I mean, you can hang out with girls all the time right? Suddenly you realize there's a problem. Too bad for you, you're already into deep. Sorry, no turning around now buddy.

So to all those guys out there stuck in the friend zone, here's to you. But don't lose hope. We can learn a couple lessons from Harry Potter.

1. Every now and then, the gap is bridged and you can make it. I mean look at Ron
2. If that fails, go for your best friends little sis.

But if you're still lacking hope, I'm sure this guys strategy will work for ya. I found it on google. (If it works let me know, I didn't feel like reading it.)

Now Dat's Finger-Lickin Funny

When hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast, even houses of worship were not spared.

A local television station interviewed a woman from New Orleans and asked how the loss of churches in the area had affected their lives.

Without hesitation, the woman replied,
"I don't know 'bout all those other people, but we ain't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's."

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.

They live among us, AND THEY VOTE.

Now, do you understand how we got our president?

For a Good Time...

HEY YOU!

I'm glad you found this blog.

I hope you have a good time. 

Kinda like this guy in the comic.

Keep going,

Trust me, it's worth it...

Yup, it really is.

Almost there.

Phew, you made it.

Wasn't that funny? Plus, depending on your computer you got to see the same picture of Josh like 5 or 6 times as you scrolled down. But if you want more good times, and you've already read through our blog, here's a good place to waste some time. http://iwastesomuchtime.com/ (The website has a fitting name doesn't it?) That might be why I'm awake at 3 in the morning, or that might have to do with the fact that I slept until 12:45 today and can't go to sleep... So I've just been finding fun stuff like this site. The internet is wonderful isn't it?

First post

Ginger Biscuits here. This is my first post on a blog. I'm not really sure what to do...hello. My name is Ginger Biscuits. I like long walks on the beach, smooth rock/jazz and piña coladas while getting caught in the rain. Oh captain my captain...a long time ago in a glalaxy far, far away...Oscar Meyer has a way with...say what you need to say...I think I'll be fine with this blog thing. Nathan is seriously the coolest guy ever. I had a drink of water this morning as well as a few ounces of orange juice. I think any more I tell is just too personal. I like unicorns. BYYYYYE. Shoeboxes.

Just Call me Edgar

Fun fact, sometimes I write poems. Most of the time it is to procrastinate being productive. I hope you enjoy!

A Very Red Bull

There once was a farmer named Joel.

On whose farm, life sure wasn't dull.

He went for a squirt,

But something sure hurt.

Poor 'ol Joel was milking his bull.

A Utah Education

A redneck sent his son off to school,

To prove that he wasn't a fool.

Pi are square he was taught,

He yelled no they are not!

Pi are round and that's always the rule.

They Call Him Ginger Biscuits

Want to know the best part about living with a ginger roommate? You have access to a living joke like 24/7. Unless your schedule is like mine and you might see him an hour or two a day. But its seriously great, the joke possibilities are endless, easy, and really funny. It's even better when they think the jokes are funnier than you do! All in all, they make everything more fun. Unless of course your idea of fun requires having a soul. (See, I told you it was easy!)

Sometimes they even inspire you to do weird searches on Spotify where you discover rare gems like this one.

Another plus is that you always have somebody to hang out with. We all know that the thing they miss most about parties are the invitations. 

So here's to all the gingers out there. If you don't have a ginger friend, I would suggest getting one, they really aren't too bad. Josh, here's to you, you crimson crusader.